Following the circumstances that led me to being single, I faced a similar dilemma, not wishing to be alone, but not able to go out and meet people. How can I mix and mingle when mixing and mingling are two of the things I least like to do. Well, said many people, this is the 21st Century and the internet can solve all such problems. So I signed up to two websites, POF and Match. I was on the sites for 18 months and I was never contacted by a single person. This did not do my self-esteem any favours. Now the reasons for not being contacted are many and varied, but I have plenty of time on my hands, so I'm going to go through them ALL.
Firstly, and this one will sound incredibly bitchy, is that dating websites do tend to draw in people who can't get a date. There is profile after profile of people saying "I work in teaching or nursing, and when I am not working, I go out and get blind drunk, I hope to spend as much of my time on holiday as possible, why am I on my own?" furthermore, POF especially is basically free, meaing that it draws in people who don't have to make much of an effort -Picture after picture has an instagram filter and most look like they were taken (and the profile written) while drunk if someone like me doesn't like it, there's plenty more fish in the sea, right?
But that's ok, people are all different, those sort of people are not for me. I am sure there are others... and indeed there are, all saying "always up for a chat" except whenever I send them a message, I have never had a reply, and several have blocked me.
Now, I have been told to overlook such things, and that some people are just some people, and to look elsewhere. But as the saying goes "if you meet one person and they are an arsehole, what an arsehole!, if EVERYONE you meet is an arsehole, YOU are the arsehole". So.. maybe it is me?
But what do I do? If no-one replies, how am I ever supposed to figure out what I am doing wrong. I don't know anything about these people because "if you want to know... just ask" so I'm not going in with much more than "hi there, you look interesting, feel like a chat?"
Just recently after a two year break, I tried again. When I first started I decided to follow the general advice and "just be myself" and "just be honest". I thought the world was quite an accepting place, so I made it plain about who I am. This time I have made sure to make no mention at all, see if it makes a difference.
So I found someone who looked nice, we had similar interests and they looked interesting. They did seem to have a problem with (again because the site is free) abusive emails and such as they said something along the lines of "and don't ask about anything weird" so I decided to say "hey there, I am not weird and would like to chat about things not weird", I got a reply back saying "the fact you had to specify that makes you creepy" and blocked me...
Still, at least it was a reply. I do find being completely ignorred quite shockingly rude. What's wrong with a "thanks but no thanks"?
so by coincidence I found a mention of a site catering for people with Autsim and signed up for it. Hoping that this would be something different. Sadly not, despite bragging about it in the article I read, the actual site had barely any users at all. It only found me one match who... did not reply to me. It did say they had last been online "more than a week ago" but I think that was as high as it went, so maybe they had not been on for years....
there was a forum on the site, in which others too were exasperated by the few users, and one mentioned this site, so here I am now. This site certainly has more users, and above all specifies itself as "dating and friendship" and SURELY people who sign up for such a site would be interesting in talking... right?
Well, I have plenty of matches, but now I cannot see anything saying when they were online. I did see one profile from someone saying "I am 19" but their age was 25. Did they register and last log on six years ago?
Well... I messaged seven people, and none have replied. And so I move here to the forum, to lament all this. I already note the number of people posting here looks to be a select few...