Getting To Know Someone...
Getting to know someone in the context of dating, relationships or marriage can be somewhat difficult for us folks on the autism spectrum.
Sometimes we just don't know where to start, what to say or what to do...Quite often these situations can be daunting and even downright scary at times.
I've dated a few times and been in two less than ideal relationships but I've never married...not yet anyway!
I've learnt a fair bit from each and every person and situation, and I will share a few things that I'm experimenting with at the moment.
This is what I'm currently doing...
1: Asking questions and lots of them.
2: Keeping my texts, messages and emails to a minimum and not overdoing it....
This is especially hard for me because I express myself better in writing than I do verbally for the most part.
3: Having and keeping safe, strong and boundaries.
4: Being myself and just going with the flow.
Questions To Ask Early On...
When it comes to asking your potential love interest questions be sure to stick to the basics in the early stages.
In the first 2 or 3 conversations questions like what's your favourite animal, food, drink, movie, music, book, holiday destination and the like are reasonably good questions to ask when you first start talking and getting to know someone.
It would also be okay to ask questions like what they do for a job or study, how tall someone is, their hair and eye colour and whether or not they have tattoos and/or piercings etc
This type of information is usually added onto most people's online social media or dating site profiles anyway.
Doing this will help you establish what basic commonalities and differences you may have.
In the next 4 to 6 conversations it might be okay to start asking and discuss things like what someone's goals, hopes and dreams are for the future, their political leanings, religious and faith background etc
If you find that you have more commonalities than differences you're probably on the right track...Love just might be in the air or at least a very good friendship!
If you have more differences than commonalities that is still be okay but you may end up having a different kind of relationship with that person if any relationship at all.
Questions NOT to ask early on!
1: Questions about sex..
2: Questions about someone's weight...
3: Questions about how much someone earns in their job....
Such questions should be well and truly reserved for much later on when things are more serious!
To ask these sorts of questions especially in the beginning can make you come off as being crass, rude, nosy, superficial and just yucky in general.
Nobody wants to date or get involved with an ill mannered scuzzbucket...Period!