I am really sick to death of being single and alone. I cannot stand it. Being alone and single to me is worse than death. To me it's so isolating and depressing to the point where its giving me major stress attacks and stomach aches. Anyone that thinks I should deal with it no matter how much I hate it is cruel and selfish. Very little inspires me. Anyone who stands in my way of what I want badly is downright evil and is my enemy. I cannot take it anymore. I had one relationship already 5 years ago and I absoultely hated it. My ex girlfriend was a boring dumbass who was so difficult and modeled the worst behaviors. For 5 years I have been looking for someone great. But I haven't found anyone. Every girl I wanted to be with lied to me saying they wanted to be with me to then try and scam me or they said they wanted to be with me to only then randomly change their mind or ghost me which really broke my heart and made me insane. Being alone too much and being around abrasive energy is not gonna help me. Anyone that thinks I can deal with this crap is delusional and kind of evil. I'm sorry for sounding harsh. I am so fed up with the real world. The real world is nothing unless it's fun and exciting which it isn't. I am tired of putting in all the effort and no one else puts in any effort. I have lost my patience. Waiting is stupid. I can't wait any longer. Its too hard for me.