❗My short story❗

I've been attending a Pentecostal church on and off (mostly on) since June 2021 and all was good for a little while

The first time I left was in August or September of 2021 but that was mostly due to my workload as a Disability Support Worker at the time but I eventually left that job due to burnout and in September of 2022 I returned to the church and all seemed fine.

It was around September 2023 when I was supporting a former through a break up that I start to slowly but surely see issues with this church.

In 2024 they moved to another building as the original building was sold and it seems that there were not only more clique groups but money seemed to be a much bigger and that overtook the previous focus which was on the community.

They still help the poor and what not but money seems to be a bigger focus now.

I attempted to leave and go to another church in September later year only to be reeled back in so I decided to "make peace" with things only to back here again...Yes, I want to leave again.

So I've this weekend coming I've decided to fast and pray about it because there's a reason this wanting to leave thing keeps coming up time and time again...I need to resolve it and make a solid decision.

I understand that leaving the Pentecostal church is a deeply personal and often very challenging experience which requires a person to navigate my newfound beliefs.

I know I'll also potentially face the loss of many friendships I've made in this  Pentecostal church not to mention adjusting to life outside of my former denomination.

No matter what happens, I'll get away from all the bull crap, depression, anxiety, feelings of unworthiness and the questionable doctrine.

❓ Why do people leave Pentecostalism ❓

🔴 Rejection of Beliefs and Values - Some individuals may leave due to a fundamental disagreement with the church's teachings, doctrines, or moral codes, etc.

🟠 Bad Experiences - Negative experiences within the church, such as feelings of judgement, isolation, or a lack of opportunities for genuine dialogue or friendships which can and often do contribute to one's decision to leave. 

🟡 Struggles with Restrictive Moral Codes - The strict moral codes especially around music, movies, etc that are often associated with Pentecostal churches can potentially lead to feelings of inadequacy, FOMO and exhaustion, ultimately leading some people to seek a different path either temporarily or permanently.

🟢 Lack of Identity or Fulfillment - Some people who leave the Pentecostal church often find they no longer feel a sense of identity or purpose within their former denomination.

 ❓Experiences during and after leaving❓

🔵 Isolation and Loss - Leaving a church can and does often lead to feelings of emotional and social isolation, and the grief and loss of separating from family, friends, and other support systems. 

🟣 Trauma - The trauma caused by leaving a church can be very real, and individuals may experience feelings such as grief, guilt, fear, shame, sadness and other emotional challenges as they adjust to life outside of their former denomination and also in the midst of losing some if not all of the friendships and connections they made at the church.

🟤 Re-evaluation of Identity - People may grapple with their identity and how they fit into the world outside of their former denomination, and some could potentially struggle to fit in at a new church or other community setting.

⚫ Finding a New Community - Over time, people who leave the Pentecostal church often find it crucial to build new communities and friendships where they feel accepted and loved so many will generally attend a new church or another type of social group to do this.

⚪ Potential for Growth and Freedom - Leaving the Pentecostal church can allow people to start exploring new ideas, values, and beliefs in order to live more authentically and freely without the influence and restrictions of their former church and denomination.

❓Do I hate Pentecostals ❓

The short answer is NO!!

I don't hate anyone and most of the church congregation I'm in the process of leaving behind are genuine believers and followers of Jesus.

What I don't like is the following...

🟥 The increasing focus on money, tithing, etc (a few weeks ago they even did a full sermon on it)

🟧 The decreasing focus on all things community related (they're still involved in the community but it seems to be to a lesser extent now)

🟨 The increase of clique groups that are forming with some people being barely acknowledged or even completely ignored, etc

🟩 The mediocre worship team and the crappy sounding music which feels more like a "look at me" performance as opposed to actually worshipping Jesus.

🟦 The super long worship time...It actually goes for about an hour before the sermon even starts not to mention the amount of guest preachers that visit and bring in all kinds of stuff.

🟪 There's not enough reference to the Scriptures themselves (they are better with this than some Pentecostal churches that don't even refer to Scripture at all)

🟫 No real spiritual growth...That's enough said here!!

⬛ Some harmful and damaging techniques that are used in their so-called "deliverance" ministry (I was once told to repent of the "sin" of depression)

⬜ They allowed a good friend of mine to marry a man they knew had a long history of abusing women, doing drugs, drinking and going in and out of rehab and prison, etc and now she's attending a new church and is recovering.

❓ So where to from here ❓

❤️ I will go to a mainline church.

🧡 I will be more discerning.

💛 I will stay away from questionable doctrines.

💚 I will rid myself of the feelings of shame, guilt, unworthiness and trauma that I've actually picked up since going to this church.

💙 I will rely more on Jesus Himself and rely less on the word of preachers.

💜 I will learn to test the spirits and read the Scriptures more.

🤎 I will learn to understand that if I hear any word that's new then it's probably not true and probably not of God.

🖤 Relearn that it's okay to be "different" and being "different" does not mean that I have "demons" roaming around in me.

🤍 To be grateful and enjoy every day I get, love big and live life to the fullest.

There is so much to unpack, unlearn and relearn but I'll get there...