THEY SAID I WAS NUTS! THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT A PERSONAL ISSUE THIS QUESTION WAS, AND I WAS DETERMINED TO FIND THE ANSWER AND MOVE ON.

I wrote essentially the following  when I was 16:

"Who Am I?"

They ask me
to write about this
on my college application.
That is actually the question of the universe:

What is self?
Who am I?
I seemingly cannot prove that I exist or do not exist.
Descartes wrote, "I think, therefore I exist."
Seemingly impressive,
but it is circular and unscientific reasoning.
It moreoever would not apply after I died:
what proof that I had ever actually "existed"?
I actually cannot separate myself
from the universe.
The boundary of skin is an illusion.
Thus the boundary of death would be an illusion.
The boundary of birth would be an illusion.
I swallow the universe with all my senses.
The universe and I
breathe each other in and out.
I am a universe.
But to be solipsist is insane, suicidal
and I seemingly would no longer exist..
The only way for me to remain sane
is to accept the following:

"We" all each are different
and equally
a universe,
the same as the universe!
[I'll get to "who is 'we'?"]

For my sanity again, I state that
our feelings and everything
are obviously
differently the same,
the same differently.
The universe thus is sentient,
infinitely-dimensionally.
It is not just the human species.
There is no way to draw a boundary line.
I defy you you to honestly do so.
All sentient life thus should in like manner be a/the universe.
But again there is no way to draw a line.
It would equally apply to insentient life.
But again,
because no one could mathematically draw the line,

it may apply equally to "nonlife."
. it would apply to atoms and to subatomic particles.
They too contain the universe.
They therefore are infinitely intercontained.
[Turn the universe inside out at every point
and its essence would remain unchanged.
The self and environment reflect each other.]
They too are sentient, conscious in their way.
There must be a physics to explain this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aristotle said, "The whole is greater than its parts."
I state, "The whole is contained in each of its parts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All particles are equally intercontained,
as are all anythings we might consider "entities", or "systems".
In a way that is blurred so far
[the nature of the inherent entropic fuzziness must be exactly clarified],
"we" are all infinitely intercontained
and correspondingly, interconnected.
An algorithm of infinite recursion [of such recursions].
The new [system/matrix] calculii are yet to be developed!!

Note that thus energy/matter and information/consciousness
are inseparable.
They are different manifestations of the same thing.
Do they have a symmetry,
a mathematics whereby
the "essence" of the universe would remain invariant
under the transformation[s] of their exchange?
[Perhaps there would be a dance of such transformations
[of course transcending space-time].
Remember the invariances under projective geometry
when points and lines are interchanged.
Remember the mathematics of quaternions
with 3 different square roots of -1
whose paired product merely changes sign
when their order changes.
Is the fact that quaternions are so significant in physics
[one way of]
hinting at a far higher physics/mathematics to embody the symmetry
inferred at the beginning of this paragraph?

In Riemannian geometry,
"what goes around comes around."
Do not look too deep into your environment
or you will see yourself reflected.
[Reflected in countless ways in the most complex-seeming mirror.]
In fact, if time is an imaginary axis in space-time,
then by the Pythagorean theorem
the distance in space-time
of two points connected by a ray of light
will be zero.
Can this be made to correspond to quantum entanglement?
They are the same point.
But seemingly everything in the universe
could be thusly so interconnected
and thus superposed.
Endlessly reflecting each other,
the zero-dimensional point
actually infinite-dimensional in information.

All fields of mathematics
will be involved in this.
Each field consists of axioms
leading in endless "progressive" networks of theorems
which in ultimately recursive infinitude
could turn into a field of "living tissue".
Infinite fiers or internetworks
of fields of mathematics?
They will become one.

What will be that new geometry, the ultimate new mathematics?????

First we must figure out how
not to destroy ourselves on this planet
before we can figure that out.

Perhaps indeed
these two questions
are utterly interconected!!!!?

I have an infinite way further to go.
First I have to go to college.

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