i normally would never think of posting anything like thins its a long story and i dont care for sharing it, i dont know why today i decided to come back to thins site after abandoning my account for some time well just annother site that wont do anything for me cept just being a waste of my time so am writting thins well im not expecting any good to come of this. i dont know if im allowed or if its even rite for me to be saying this but i just hate being single, i just do not enjoy life in general, well i dont want to get into a long rant of exactly why that is so if anything i just know in my heart known for quite a long time that i just need to find her and my life will then be able to turn arroind for the better. for one thing i just have to spend a lot of time alone cause im different and so well i think that is self explaining. sure i had a few good close friends back in high school but lost every one of them after school and sure have made a few friends since then but well didnt last any ammount of time, i can only guess as to why that is my best being im just so damn negitive there i said it, well i dont want to be well..... sure i know i need some kind of therapy or counselling contacted a few counsellors and therapists last winter and have done so on and off for the past year or so and just not getting anywhere at all. gave up trying to help or pleasing anyone well all i have to say is by trying so was only hurting myself. i honest just want the day to come where i wake up and not be thins grouchy negitive evil person i am, i want more than to be stuck sitting in my room alone every night, want somone to share my love of boating and just being on the water in my small motor boat with.