Autistic Dating

First READERS, I'd like to share something I think a number of you mightn't know:
If you ONLY "Like" a person VERSUS writing something in the message field, the person is unable to even KNOW you've "Liked" them, nonetheLESS able to RESPOND in ANY way unLESS they upgrade from the free service [which I and I guess numerous others are not willing to do]. END.

ME: I spent many years living abroad studying histoey "on the ground" recently, but I must be back in America for some time as my otherwise very healthy mother is now over 90 years old.

Otherwise I am anxious to be OUT of America as it is too young a country & society/culture for my tastes and interests. I fight boredom here and look forward to going abroad again ASAP, this time I have England in mind.

There are many places in the world I'd love to go live in except that I can't bear heat -"heat" in my case being generally temperatures over 68F/20C ! ! (I'm from & comfortable on the western North American and Canadian coasts. I love rain and do relatively well! in snow/ice /cold.)

I lived in Ireland & loved it, (boy! do I miss those fish 'n chips I nearly lived on in Belfast! - LUV seafood!) and think perhaps I'd like to go next to Scotland/Glasgow/No. England or perhaps Wales, and take history-study trips into the cities such as London. [I'd likely like to take off-season trips to other European countries which I could never live in year-round due Summer heat.

For the time being I feel inspired by the idea of making friends in places I hope to go to before too long.

I'm appreciated for being an extremely compassionate person. I've always been very sensitive re pain & suffering (not my own - other than 'sensory overload' issues re noise, heat, bright lights, crowds, etc. - my physical health has always been very good/strong) - particularly re animals, but people in helplessly-dire straights cause me great compassionate-distress as well (I've experienced WAY MORE THAN MY SHARE of 'saving lives' - from insects, fish, reptiles, rodents, birds - as a child - to scores of larger ones as life went on, even 'lost (human) souls' long seemed to 'present' for 'only me' to rescue.
I do my very best these days to avoid exposure to other than what 'lifts me' - 'peace/beauty & healthy/vital - my intolerance for 'other than' virtually amount to - I'm afraid - something akin to a real weakness. (Despite my compassionate nature I've learned I am NOT 'the nurse' type. Doctors go 'way back & on both sides of my family & seems I inherited both an interest & 'natural understanding' of physiology but find other than intellectual curiosity I don't like being around 'illness, affliction, disease' and am impatient in relationship to all/any adult who's physical ailment or suffer'g is the result of earlier carelessness as concerns taking care of their physical health (right diet, exercise, avoidance of drugs, excessive alcohol, etc.) and/but admittedly even in the cases where 'just ignorance' is involved - so forgivable - I nonetheless find I have 'no patience with it' (except when 'I happen to meet' people with 'entirely fixable conditions' such as debilitating obesity who also as happens are sincerely devoted to change/'fixing it' as in these cases I can help with my advanced knowledge of 'nutrition & exercise' so 'positive involvement/engagement' replaces my otherwise wish to avoid. (I'm not proud of 'this otherwise' intolerance, but 'it is what it is', likely stemming from my family-background which emphasized importance-of & responsibility-for maintaining physical health - an immediate family of 6, my father passed-away recently of old age in otherwise good health, my mother remains healthy @ over 90 and 'all us children' - now over 60 - are in good physical health 'having/seeing' a doctor never even 'a part of our lives').
My wish to avoid being responsible for dependent lives eventually evolved to not even wishing to be around pets - nonetheless 'own one' myself (although I enjoyed many small ones during childhood) - I found simply that I experience a too-all-consuming concern for their 'optimal health' & happiness (for love of them). On the other hand I love exposure to animals in nature (if healthy - half-starved urban-pigeons distress me terribly!), living free..
Meanwhile my love of 'keeping plants' is a great pleasure (no concern re 'adequate simulation, proper environment, exercise & emotional contentment!) - I enjoy if not love everything from indoor potted plants to landscaping, pruning & shaping trees/vines, maintaining vegetable & flower gardens, etc. - love being 'in the soil' and am quite the 'green thumb' in fact.
I love to read & study (particularly excellently written works of non-fiction - memoirs out of other 'times &/or cultures', historical-studies, socio-cultural anthropological studies, & certain theological studies). In my younger years I thoroughly enjoyed some works of fiction (D.H. Lawrence, Steinbeck, Ray Bradbury, John Fowles, etc.) and a bit later 'read a rash' of books 'theo-philosophical' in nature (Thomas Merton, Alan Watts, etc.) but eventually arrived @ 'history/geography & socio-cultural' as what enlightens me to this day. I haven't read a work of fiction in decades, I'm even uninterested in fiction films! (Yes, I'm quite odd in ways.)
My early years were very athletic - competitive swimming, track, gymnastics, ballet becoming my sole passion eventually.
I also developed artistic skills early, quite accomplished works-creator by my early teens. One doesn't 'lose these abilities' once gained - unlike 'athletic ones' which depend so greatly on extraordinary physical fitness - but I'm no longer involved in creating works of art anymore either. Seems I've returned to my VERY earliest 'ways'. exploration through reading & studying. There was a time I'd've said, "If I had the means I would travel to live in one culturally &/or historically interesting place after another", but I've come to realize both that I cannot bear 'heat' - making the vast majority of places I might otherwise wish to live in, 'out of the question', others I wouldn't want to go to even briefly due to absence of even a cool-enough-for-me SEASON - and levels of socio-cultural distress/disintegration & dilution are such that much of what were unique long-intact if not ancient cultures are in rapid decline. Unfortunately much can be 'experienced now' only via what's been written, drawn, photographed.
I'm EXTREMELY creative (with a 'typical artistic temperament'?), very adventurous - in a quiet way, with a history of not being able to tedium, routines (unless re 'a passion' such as 'endless routines' in the course of ballet training). I tend to'bore easily', must always create new challenges for myself - even if just such as ever-improving/perfecting a vast or complex garden area.
I've never been able to interest myself in such as 'security' (planning, gaining, maintaining, etc.), a subject which from 'my beginnings' struck me as so dreadfully boring that I preferred 'whatever else it took' to enjoy basic needs - food, (I 'went through a period' of creative exploration of every manner of cultural cuisine, exploring creative combinations/preparations, then 'per above' came to 'an end' when nothing new was left to be explored and I grew 'bored in the kitchen' and returned to expediency - nutritious high-quality products simply-prepared). peace, aesthetic surroundings/place to retire to, a plant or ten to tend, reliable transportation, availability of interesting reading material, the like. I DON'T 'suffer deprivation' comfortably/well - I eventually realized my 'lower than some' ability - and luckily/fortunately I've managed to avoid having to, one way and another.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly - now that it comes to me - is a couple of 'pivotals' as concerns my relationships with others (let's say, 'males' for these purposes). At this stage of my life I have to admit I may have some difficulty re 'feelings of being confined' - real, regardless of not necessarily rationally explainable. I'm very close to a sister for example, who finds it nearly impossible to 'enjoy anything' unless 'with another' to 'share it with' (as she puts it), while I often can NOT enjoy a lot unless ALONE (I'm distracted by the presence of another with me watching a film in a theater, I can't study ANYTHING if I'm conscious of a person close by that's not equally 'studious', etc.). My sister rather at ANY/ALL times have somebody as close as can be, she can't breathe unless 'attached' & her favorite sphere is 'snug in her home' with others about, the more the merrier - she loves to entertain. Lifelong very close in relationship to one another has resulted in amazement as to how two sisters raised in the same household could 'turn out to be' so entirely different in a respect such as this; in otherwords see 'where nature vs nurture' is at work.
I might be more akin to Karen Blixen (portrayed in the 'Out of Africa' film) relative to my sister, say - a free/'nomadic' spirit?
Unfortunately - and somewhat seemingly contradictory - I've found that "I", and 'people similar to &/or identifying' with me', regularly turn out to 'not develop' regular companionship wise. Instead it seems the 'common thread' in cases where 'interest' has turned into friendship & mutual desire to spend time together, have been persons who - besides sharing similar basic interests such as appreciation of peace, similar 'quality-of-life' values, aesthetic sensitivities, etc.) qualities include such as a certain very 'down to earth' ness, a 'naturally practically-interested nature', unusually patient & warm - attitude, behavior, & expressions-wise - generous, & exceedingly comfortable with fine feelings (their own & others).
The 'oft presence' of these people in my life, so unlikely in ways, made me wonder & eventually I realized it likely had to so with something compensatory regarding my early influences, which was a rather unusual family/upbringing whereby my busy-professional father was - despite being very strict at times, sometimes 'militaristically so' - nonetheless by far the more engaged/engaging & participatory parent, this remaining true til his passing not long ago; while 'mother' - while dutiful & efficient re her role as wife, housekeeper, cook, etc. - was as good as 'missing' otherwise, largely neither 'seen nor heard', obsessed with her philosophy & linguistic studies, she was aloof, largely removed, with rare active interest in her childrens lives once out of infancy/into school. It was something of 'role reversal' - rather than 'mom' telling kids to 'leave dad alone' (he's working, or tired after work), we were told by 'dad' to 'leave your mother alone' (she didn't hesitate to reinforce this near anytime one approached her with anything but the simplest practical question/request - and frequently was not even in the house, having 'escaped' to one of her many 'hideaways' to avoid being 'pestered' (her word) by any of her four children.
It's no wonder, as it occurred to me only many years on, that my closest friends & 'loves' (including my husband of many years, amicably 'ex' for some time now) have always had in common a high-spirited, generous, warm, utterly devoted to her children/family, mother. This 'vein' runs true in virtually every one of my most meaningful relationships in life - with males and females - such that apparently it's virtually a 'requirement' as regards any potential for an acquaintanceship to become friendship &'more'.
My experience has been that 'these people', while warm, caring, protective, are also relatively cautious & practical, and that the 'good fit' has to do with their pleasure in relationship to my relatively carefree spirit, fearless & adventuresome nature, spontaneity, & enthusiasm - in fact 'child-like' (not to be confused with 'childish' as in 'immature') going together with my regularly 'at times' naivete which while I was young I took to mean meant only that 'I had a lot to learn yet', but instead experiences of 'this fact' never ceased and is apparently part & parcel of my being simply honest & straight-forward' - versus interested in 'social-politics' & accompanying 'manipulation'.
Enough, note that I can 10-finger-speed-type nearly as fast as I think, so versus any possible impression a lot/any much thought is behind these ramblings would be mistaken. Just 'off the top' bits by way of 'words on paper' by which hope is 'some worthwhile impression of the writer' gleaned.