My sister signed me up on here last summer, because I thought I might have a better chance with someone who also has autism. Since then, I've talked to one guy. When things ultimately didn't work out, I began to wonder if I'd be better off with a normal guy. I just thought since I have mild autism, I'd be more easily accepted by someone under the spectrum. The problem is I need someone who can take care of himself so he can take care of others. The guy I met on here couldn't even learn to drive, and he lives out of state. I'm sure not every autistic guy out there is that incompetent or insecure, but he needs to have all the qualities that would at least make a good father. Can an autistic guy make a good father, or will I have to look elsewhere and hope to get lucky with a decent normie?
Comments
Hello, you got very good points here: ''The problem is I need someone who can take care of himself so he can take care of others. The guy I met on here couldn't even learn to drive, and he lives out of state. I'm sure not every autistic guy out there is that incompetent or insecure, but he needs to have all the qualities that would at least make a good father. Can an autistic guy make a good father, or will I have to look elsewhere and hope to get lucky with a decent normie?''
Now I was on normie's site before because I did not know I was an autist. I will tell you that is not much better than here.
I already had a bad experience here to the point of deleting my profile and starting over. Fortunately for me, I was a new comer.
All the best!
Sorry if I came off as insensitive. I haven’t had a lot of interaction on here other than that one guy, so I don’t have a clear idea of what other autistic guys are like. I was just hoping this guy I talked to was just a rare case (to be fair, he had more than just autism), but I was also going by how I view myself, or rather how others view me. I hardly know what to expect with any autistic person in general. All I’m asking for is for someone with basic life skills and the ability to take care of himself as well as a family. Is that really too much to ask, even from someone with autism? I just want to make sure that I’m in good hands whoever I end up with. I’m hoping I can find a good guy who can accept the way I am while also being able to provide the bear minimum to a new family. I just don’t know if I’d be better off with a normal guy or an autistic one, let alone who I’d have a better chance with.
Well if you consider a guy with autism to not be normal, then I'd say that this ain't the right place for you. Especially when you're looking for a guy that's able to achieve things in life that you aren't capable of. It means you're looking for someone better than yourself. Also, your perception of autistic guys is kinda insulting. Plenty of men who have autism can drive. Plenty of autistic men ARE fathers. Some are even world leaders. Yeah, you can find your right guy, but try being a little less shallow, otherwise you become the undesirable partner.
Well, it depends on what you're looking for, love doesn't come just like that, you have to create a connection between each other naturally. Honestly, be yourself and enjoy who you're talking to, and if you don't then you move and be honest with yourself about who you want to be with. That lucky guy might be your soul mate or even a father, but in terms of 'good father' depends on your expectations, as a guy myself I have no expectation for who I am with because I will learn to eventually love and unconditionally fall for someone who I find and bond with. Any man or woman can be a good father or mother, hopefully, you'll find someone without the expectations hanging over you as personally, it can stop you from achieving what you want if it was me I would be humble and just get on with who approaches me, and that's how I am, it's because last year I learnt a few lessons on being humble, wise and patient & so much more, but hopefully you'll find someone, good luck Amjam.
Comments
Posted by 4christinedaaé
Hello, you got very good points here: ''The problem is I need someone who can take care of himself so he can take care of others. The guy I met on here couldn't even learn to drive, and he lives out of state. I'm sure not every autistic guy out there is that incompetent or insecure, but he needs to have all the qualities that would at least make a good father. Can an autistic guy make a good father, or will I have to look elsewhere and hope to get lucky with a decent normie?'' Now I was on normie's site before because I did not know I was an autist. I will tell you that is not much better than here. I already had a bad experience here to the point of deleting my profile and starting over. Fortunately for me, I was a new comer. All the best!
Posted by amjam
Sorry if I came off as insensitive. I haven’t had a lot of interaction on here other than that one guy, so I don’t have a clear idea of what other autistic guys are like. I was just hoping this guy I talked to was just a rare case (to be fair, he had more than just autism), but I was also going by how I view myself, or rather how others view me. I hardly know what to expect with any autistic person in general. All I’m asking for is for someone with basic life skills and the ability to take care of himself as well as a family. Is that really too much to ask, even from someone with autism? I just want to make sure that I’m in good hands whoever I end up with. I’m hoping I can find a good guy who can accept the way I am while also being able to provide the bear minimum to a new family. I just don’t know if I’d be better off with a normal guy or an autistic one, let alone who I’d have a better chance with.
Posted by squee
Well if you consider a guy with autism to not be normal, then I'd say that this ain't the right place for you. Especially when you're looking for a guy that's able to achieve things in life that you aren't capable of. It means you're looking for someone better than yourself. Also, your perception of autistic guys is kinda insulting. Plenty of men who have autism can drive. Plenty of autistic men ARE fathers. Some are even world leaders. Yeah, you can find your right guy, but try being a little less shallow, otherwise you become the undesirable partner.
Posted by justaverage
Well, it depends on what you're looking for, love doesn't come just like that, you have to create a connection between each other naturally. Honestly, be yourself and enjoy who you're talking to, and if you don't then you move and be honest with yourself about who you want to be with. That lucky guy might be your soul mate or even a father, but in terms of 'good father' depends on your expectations, as a guy myself I have no expectation for who I am with because I will learn to eventually love and unconditionally fall for someone who I find and bond with. Any man or woman can be a good father or mother, hopefully, you'll find someone without the expectations hanging over you as personally, it can stop you from achieving what you want if it was me I would be humble and just get on with who approaches me, and that's how I am, it's because last year I learnt a few lessons on being humble, wise and patient & so much more, but hopefully you'll find someone, good luck Amjam.