I have a cat; her name is Aether. The other night she scared the all fucking hell out of me. I've had her since she was so tiny she could fit in the palm of my hand. She's not so small or young anymore. As a matter of fact she's getting quite old and I'm constantly afraid she's going to die at a moment's notice (she's not that old but my fears still take hold). She and I sleep together just about every night. Most nights she starts in the crux of my arm and when in inevitable roll onto my side she'll either curl up against my back or against my arms depending on the direction I'm facing. Well the other night I woke up and she was making some weird noises I've never heard when she was breathing. Normally Aether is a very light sleeper and if I touch her at all she'll wake up. So with her weird noises I pet her but she didn't stop. So I rubbed her belly, which she hates, but she still didn't stop. So I picked up her head...but when I removed my hand her head just dropped to the blanket.... And I was terrified...because I thought maybe...maybe...is...is she...did she die in her sleep?!?!?!? So I put my hand next to her nose and I didn't feel her breath (she usually breathes pretty deeply). And I put my hand on her ribs and I didn't feel her lungs expanding and collapsing...and I got super scared...I don't want to lose my kitty.... So I laid there, on verge of tears, and I just pet her gently wondering if I was stroking a corpse. And finally, I heard her start purring, and then her breath started bellowing across my face, and I saw her eyes open briefly at me, and I smiled glad that she's still here. So I cuddled up next to her and let her go back to sleep, simply glad she was still with me. Fuck I'm scared of her dying.
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